Avocados...Some Wrongs Can Never Be Forgiven

The best picture of 1992 was 'Unforgiven' directed by, and starring Clint Eastwood. It was an excellent film dealing with dark themes; it tells the story of a former gun fighter and robber that has changed his life for the better. He marries the love of his life, has a family, and has turned to a life of farming. His wife passes away, the farm is about to go under; so he takes one last contract killing, to assasinate two cowboys that had brutally and horribly disfigured a "saloon girl." The theme of the entire film can be summed up in a line from the trailer for the film: "Some wrongs can never be forgiven."

Think about those words for a minute. Let them sink in. Do they trouble you? I confess they gnaw at me. Have you ever been wronged? I don't mean troubled, harassed, or offended...I mean desperately wounded; perhaps you have been the victim of a horrible crime or injustice. Perhaps you feel killing is too good for the low down, no good ba#%*rd that did that to you. Perhaps, you even agree with the line from that trailer, "Some wrongs can never be forgiven."

Maybe you have hurt someone very badly. Life is often difficult and we don't always act in the highest of ways: we are frail and the best of us have done things we regret, we have hurt those we love and care for, perhaps we have acted badly, even done something desperately evil. C.S. Lewis said "you can never no how really bad you are, until you have tried very hard to be good." If those actions have pricked your conscience, and you approach someone you have wronged to apologize and ask their forgiveness, the very last words you ever want to hear are these: "Some wrongs can never be forgiven." Unresolved hurts and lack of absolution can haunt us forever.

Part of my life as a vicar was helping sort out some of those thorniest issues of life. I don't like the idea that some things can never be forgiven. In Christianity, the entire religion is based on our need of forgiveness: from God, those on earth we have wronged, and even forgiving ourselves. The idea that something can not be forgiven pains me. I have never told anyone life is easy. There are no do overs. Did you ever play four square as a kid? Remember when you would miss the first serve in a set, and you would say "better serves?" Where did that ever come from? What kind of rubbish were the rules of "four square" trying to teach us? There are no "better serves." Sometimes, our actions reap consequences that are regrettable, totally immutable, and painful.

Don't worry, I am not really leading you down a rabbit trail, hang on for a bit. It is good for us to ponder the macro via the philosophical and the meta-physical, then bring our focus down to the micro, looking at the physical and the quotidian, even something as mundane as the subject of this article: Persea americana, the avocado.

I have killed more avocados than I care to admit. On the Mission Hills Garden Walk, one of the homes had a shrine to dead plants the owners had killed, and these two gardeners aren't just any dirt tillers and planters; they are two of the most knowledgeable and skillful growers I know of. Part of this just goes with the territory. If you get into gardening, you will fail occasionally. But when it comes to killing avocados, I elevated it to fine art. I have a full cemetery of pitiful little guacamole bushes.

For ten years, I had nothing but disgust for my lack of avocado growing prowess. Then one day, a gardening mentor filled me in on what I was doing wrong. He said, "Whatever you do, don't you EVER let them totally dry out. If you really put them through a bad dry spell, they are toast."

Here is what happens. Avocados are from areas that receive a great deal of rainfall. They have very shallow roots, and they are probably the most sensitive roots of any plant there is. When you put an avocado into a dry spell, especially if it is hot, and especially if the sun is allowed to bake the soil the plant is growing in, it is curtains. Here is why: the tiny, hairy, feeder roots of avocados are very tender and sensitive. When they are put through drought, especially where the roots are allowed to get hot, the roots die and they do not recover. They really will not be able to regenerate. You have lost the tree. I don't like to lose trees, have you seen the price of plants lately?

Some things can never be forgiven. Your avocado tree will not forgive you when it has rounded the corner to "Droughtville." So, that said, you have something to ponder. Are you willing to devote a lot of water on a regular basis to your new tree? Avocados are absolutely, unequivocally, never ever, drought tolerant. If you accept this assignment to plant and care for an avocado, bear in mind the following suggestions:

1) Before you begin this task, realize you are in this for the long haul. Avocados are a long term exercise in delayed gratification. Nut trees and avocados are the slowest trees to come to maturity, really 7-8 years before any fruit at all. You will not really have abundant harvests for 10-12 years or more. Yikes I might be retired before I make guacamole.

2) Before you walk away from the planting hole, make sure the tree will receive ample and consistent water.

3 )Mulch. Mulch. Mulch again. Do not mulch right up to the trunk, but mulch thickly the area surrounding the tree. Do this for several reasons. You want to keep the roots cool. You want to conserve moisture. You want to build nutrient rich, friable soil.

4) Never let the tree dry out at all during its early years. They do eventually become vigorous. But I will level with you. Even as a very experienced grower, getting these babies to adulthood isn't easy.

5) There is absolutely NO SUCH THING as a small avocado tree. If you don't have sufficient space, do not plant an avocado. There are plenty of other lovely trees you can plant. Commercial growers recommend 25-30 feet of space between trees. If you can reach over and touch the neighbor's house from yours, this isn't the tree for you.

I really don't mean to discourage you, but I do want you to be a realist. Before you plant, count the cost. There is nothing like avocados from your own tree, I love it. You can also grow varieties you can never buy at the market, and that are so much tastier too. If you are still with me next time, we will begin to talk about my favorite varieties.